Monday, April 06, 2009

Whispers & Focus

There are times when my focus is completely off...more than a few times...many times...many times knowingly. Have you ever had something that had to be done, but you found every other thing to do, except that one thing you needed to do? It is something I do often. Not yesterday...I don't know what was going on, but I even was doing the things I really didn't feel like, and it felt good. I had four changes of laundry on the line before the day was done, too...huh.
I am sure, now when I think on it, that I also focus on the problems that seem easier to fix than on the problems that are harder to fix, or more unpleasant.
This last Winter Solstice I chose a theme for my year, after much thought and meditation on it, and I realized that the idea of "Mothering" was my theme...I realized it didn't just mean the obvious of being a good mom to my kids, but it really, in it's main meant for me to Mother myself...I have to be Mommy enough for myself, as well as allowing my own mom to Mother me. I would say that my 20's had been a kind of, "I can do it myself." and now that I'm approaching my mid 30's, there is a kind of sense of, "Perhaps I need help...I really can't do it myself." And I realize I'm not expected to, either. Both my son and daughter have been through stages (sometimes weekly right now) where they just have to do it I let them, until they say, "Actually, mom, I do need a little help." And I am standing there waiting for them to ask. It is okay to ask for help...BUT, and here is what I haven't learned to balance yet, not to expect SO much from people. If you own a business, you'll hear that LOUD and CLEAR. There is just no pleasing some people, and it is easy to move away from the happiness and freedom of owning your own business, to find that you've been bending over backwards for each person that comes your is time to shift the focus to the REAL LIFE I created.
Here is a quote from my "Simple Abundance" book yesterday, "...moving away from what others expected of me & toward my own true identity...our authentic selves are constantly alerting us through subtle clues... But authenticity rarely screams at us; it prefers to whisper."
I'm learning to listen to that whisper.
What whispers to me right now: bright colors...homemade bread & clothesline & daughter...long hair...lemon blossom & jasmine son...homemade soap...volunteering at the brother & sister-in-law and their coming baby...hand-dipped candles...hearth-cooking...crochet...healing herbs...reading (that is cheating because reading whispers to me all day long, and always has, and I'm afraid it always will :))


Mrs. Staggs said...

This post has resonated very much with me, as I've been thinking similar thoughts lately; not about a business, but with thoughts about blogging, and the expectations that come with it. It is difficult for me to balance blogging and the gifts of friendship that it can include, with the richness of living within quieter days.

I wish you much happiness Katie, within your moments, for I think that is perhaps the way. To take each moment as it comes, and truly feel it.

Laura said...

Yes, authenticity! Beautifully written, Katie. We can't be authentic if we're trying to meet everyone else's expectations, nor can we be who we were really created to be.


Katie said...

I love that you said you were learning to balance the "blogging and gifts of friendship it can include, with the richness of living within quieter days." That is exactly right, Mrs. Staggs. Thank you for saying that so perfectly!

Laura, you are exactly right! Thank you!