Saturday, May 23, 2009

Lost Cameras, Wired Hair, and Grandma

I just never thought I'd get here. I've spent a lot of days in the dark and the dank of my home wondering if I'd quit being tired, wondering if I'd ever feel like doing anything again. And Lo! I am finally back to myself. I've drastically changed my diet, because some food has been making me feel sick, and though it is tough tough tough, I do it because I can't be in that dark place again. I just can not.
And so, true to form, I've gotten myself busy as all get-out. I've been spending my time doing end-of-the-year fieldtrips with my son, finishing this month's Goode Ladye's Press, finishing writing my book, visiting friends, taking an art class, and spending quite a few days away from the computer, if you can believe it. And then, damn it all but I lost my camera.

I could get real sad about that if I let myself, since I've been learning how to actually use it, but ah well, it'll hopefully turn up stuck in an odd bag somewhere around here. I found the old camera again, and though it won't focus quite right, I made it do it's best for me today.
I recently took Marion's Whimsical Wired Characters class, and I tell you truly, it was like playing with my little girl self. I found myself just really and truly PLAYING! It was amazing. So, I have to share what I did here, and of course what I did at home, too.

I basically used beads and copper wire and scraps of fabric and threads to make these dolls. I learned how to twist wire into hearts and make wire/bead hair and their sweet little wired legs and feet, how to roll the fabric for their bodies, and was free to choose any head I wanted to. This project was so inspiring, I went home and made two more again. My kids have each made two of them, too.

There is nothing that beats the feeling of being FREE to CREATE. No matter what come out of my hands with these little dolls, it is right. Absolutely right. I love them each, and they have their own little personalities. Marion teaches me to live in that child-like wonder. I sure do adore her for that.
I've been thinking about the intermittancy of life again. How one thing comes and another goes, and there doesn't have to be sadness, it just is part of life.
I am so thankful for all of the things that have come into my life, bad and good, because I wouldn't be who I am without them.
I think of my Grandmother, long gone in body though always present in spirit, and how she inspires me even today with the pleasure she took in the simple things in life: a really good yardsale, a hummingbird taking a moment at her feeder, her garden whirly-gigs, her container gardens, books, french onion dip, Twilight zone marathons, dolls, bears, rootbeer, sales (I can hear her right this minute saying, "Oh! It's only a dollar!!!!" and buying it whether she really needed it or not), sunshine, birds, tall grass, old trees, warm blankets, fuzzy socks, strawberry shampoo, strong hugs and kisses kisses kisses.
She wasn't a complicated mixed-up woman. She knew that life had hardship and pain, and life had sweetness and laughter. Everytime I am in harmony with myself, I feel her so strongly. I know this might be the perfect image of what I know was an imperfect soul, but I dearly hope I am remembered for all my positive wonderfulness, too.

I carry her with me wherever I go. I see her face in bright flowers and afghans.

She smiles at me and says, "See honey, I told you that there is always sunshine after the rain. It is a very special feeling that you have when you are in the sunshine, and I hope you have much more if it in your life. Just when you least expect it, it comes to you. I love you, little Bird."


Doreen said...

Good morning Katie. Your grandmother sounds like a vibrant and wonderful woman with much wisdom and insight that we would all be wise to remember :)!

What a fun class :) your creation.

So sorry to hear you lost your camera..but you seem to be doing well with the old one..i just love the photo's in today's post.

Looking forward to your book. Enjoy your day...many blessings, Doreen

ps...I always feel...refreshed...after stopping by for a visit...THANK YOU ever so much :) :)

Graciel @ Evenstar Art said...

Grandmas, past and present, are definitely life lines. And your book???!!! Hooray!! Put me first in line, please. I cannot wait to sip my rose petal tea and read your sacred words, Dear Katie.


Marion said...

Thank you for posting the photos of your dolls! They are such pretty reflections of you and your world.

I have just returned from a week with my family - gathered for the celebration of my niece's graduation from high school. It is a colorful and festive occassion in Hawaii - leis piled high on the graduates' shoulders. Family and friends from all over the islands and beyond. My grandmothers were at my graduation as my niece's were at hers. My Tutu and Babachan provide me a constant source of grounding, support and warmth even now. Thank you for sharing a bit of your grandmother.

Fondly, Marion