Friday, August 07, 2009

Seven Pounds

If you repay me not on such a day,
In such a place, such sum or sums as are
Express'd in the condition, let the forfeit
Be nominated for an equal pound
Of your fair flesh, to be cut off and taken
In what part of your body pleaseth me.
~from Act 1 Scene 3 of The Merchant of Venice by W. Shakespeare~
I watch a lot of movies. When I say a lot of movies, I mean I am a movie HOUND; there are an average of 4 movies a week that go across my screen. Most of them I could leave, and many of them I use as background noise as I work.
Once in a great great while, like maaaybe once every two years, there is a movie that absolutely plucks me to my core and leaves me thinking about it for days on end.
I remember watching "City of Angels" and feeling that way....I thought "Why?" and "Wherefore?" and "Inasmuchaswhich?" for days and days afterwards.
When I watched the movie "Dead Poet's Society" I was in a funk for two days thinking about it.
After watching "The Others" I was terrified that I would find out that I was an "other".
I honestly prefer a movie that moves me in some way...horrifies me, saddens me, makes me laugh until I pee my pants, gives me shivers, sends me out of me seat 3 inches,
or makes me examine my life.
Will Smith is a genius actor and, right after Tom Hanks, he is my FAVORITE movie actor of alllll time. He has the acting ability to horrify me, sadden me, make me laugh until I pee my pants, give me the shivers, send me out of my seat 3 inches, and in recent movies...
makes me examine my life.
I just got done watching "Seven Pounds" and I just can't sleep thinking about it.
In every single way, I HEARD what the movie makers were trying to say.
#1: don't frickin' play with your blackberry when you are suppose to be driving
#2: be a part of the cure - all sorts of cures
#3: real love means action - "Don't be weak."
#4: the most terrible debts to pay are those we think we owe
I can't help but think about a has dealt her a terrible blow, and when I think of her all the philosophies I have about life just could all be thrown out the window.
I believe down in the bottom of my heart in multiple lives, and I also believe in Karma, and I also believe that in each life we continue on our journey toward understanding. But I also believe that life is this great wonderful mystery, so that means that everything I think could totally blow out the window when the time comes for me to see it like it is.
Today, I also realize that it doesn't really matter what philosophies we have, or beliefs we cling to. If they don't serve you right now, forget about them. It doesn't matter whether I believe that I might have actually chosen this life to live to continue on my journey in life and the lessons I need to doesn't serve me at all.
The only thing that serves me is to LIVE LIFE.
Simply LIVE LIFE...
There is no use in exacting a pound of flesh for every debt I think I might owe...
how tragic.
HOWEVER, that movie reminds me, helps to solidify, smooths off the rough edges of a belief I've always held: out of the ashes, beauty can rise.
I know it seems so "cheerful" and "naive", but I've never seen an instance when it wasn't so...yet.
Though Will's character felt he had to fix the wrongs he felt he'd done,
and he did SO MUCH GOOD it is crazy, and he should be Sainted,
it was absolutely tragic...just tragic...
I don't understand mind can't wrap around it...and I am ashamed to even mention it...
and I so I say this in a whisper...
sometimes the most beautiful things can arise out of sheer tragedy.
Why is this?
I don't know why.
Though, my friend has been dealt such a raw deal in life, from day one...I think to myself, "Where is the bright spot?" "Where is the beauty?"
I think it isn't always our business to know what may come of our lives for those we touch.
I think that our lives are part of this wonderful mystery in which we are all so connected, that we don't always see the reasons or the outcomes. There is something in there about how Faith is created and sustained. If we didn't believe that life had anything to hold for us, we'd all just lie down like a sheep in the rain who is lost, and just die from sheer lack of will.
Faith that at any given moment, no matter how tiny, we are changing the course of life for the better. By a quick smile, or an honest compliment, or by having the patience to stay behind the slow truck in a snow storm, or by simply keeping our eyes on the road when we have our families in the car with us.
Life, in all its sickness and scariness and diseases and near-deaths, really is a great and wonderful thing, and I have nothing to offer you by way of proof except that you open your eyes and have FAITH that it just is.
Here's to good movies, and even better movie makers that actually have something to SAY, and to actors that convey it, with all of the honesty and emotion it deserves.


Christine Crocker of Deerfield Farm said...

dear katiebird,

this is wonderful!
I'm off to rent this movie today while I'm in town on errands.

I love the water and birds...i just leave them playing while I go about my chores in the house...

talk to you soon!
sending love, ma

Graciel @ Evenstar Art said...

yes, dear katie, i agree. beauty always come out of tragedy. it may be unconventional or hard to spot at first, but it will come. the world always seeks balance.

and because of you, i will lift my faith up higher today.


beth said...

that movie sat with me for a very long time, too...smack dab in the middle of my heart with questions looking for answers.... and filled with me love for things I was taking for granted...I love when a movie can do that to me :)