Monday, September 28, 2009

Watching the Wind Blow

Today is a day when I have a list of work to do, and I finally sit down to do it. Today is a day when I am waiting and wondering when the next job will come. Today is a day of wind and scattered chicken feathers, deer in the hay pile, shifting fences, and whistling in the windows.

This is the waiting area.

I don't like for any of my days to be in some sort of holding pattern, but there it is...reminders of friends not seen in months and projects unfinished, books unread, dishes - piled and teetering...

This is a day for tea, and movies and wondering...I sang for half an hour in the shower...it wasn't even early morning, it was mid-morning before I dressed. I sang and thought to myself, "I could make a cd of all these songs I make up...they are pretty good." Where do I get this drive? Where do I believe it is possible? In which land do I sit in and think of these sorts of things?

Yesterday, I supposed to myself, that there are about 10 good jobs I could do capably, willingly, and make a living at, but there was really only one career I care deeply about, dream of, think on, work on, watch for: teaching. And then I supposed to myself that my belief in my capabilities in any sort of job, and my willingness to learn any next step I needed for said jobs comes from the one real talent I do have. Being a good teacher means that I am always learning, always onto the next step of listening, discerning, taking on, wondering together...the fire to LEARN is what is at the crux of it all, isn't it?

All of this philosophizing I do by reading Anatomy of a Spirit, or The Power of Myth, or Simple Abundance, or A New Earth...writing my own philosophy on caring for yourself with Who Am I Really? and poetry that reflects it all...the compiling of my thoughts and beliefs here...this is all in the CLIMB to LEARN...the BEAUTY of LEARNING...the RADIANCE of KNOWLEDGE...

if you don't like to learn then you may not understand one thing that I am saying - woe to you.

I am not a simple person, static and unmovable.
I am complex, moving when I am sitting still, visiting and creating new worlds each time my eyes close. I can imagine new scents and undiscovered colors. Even in my waking world, I have wings and can fly...

So why do days of sitting inside watching the wind blow by me come today??!
I think of the Raven, who walk-hops just about as much as it glides through the air. There is a time to walk, there is a time to fly. There is a time to act, and a time to sit by and watch the wind blow. I'm learning...

1 comment:

JFKlaver said...

I so relate to this post. We think the same thoughts. We read the same books. Learning means growing, evolving. May we never stop learning, my friend.