Monday, May 03, 2010

Just Feeeeeeling a Prayer

Should you really open your eyes and see, you would behold your image in all images. And should you open your ears and listen, you would hear your own voice in all voices. - Kahlil Gibran


One of my favorite movies are the Anne of Green Gable series...looooove them. I have so many favorite lines, but one that has always stuck with me is when Anne is being "taught" to pray and she is supposed to kneel and bow her head, she says, "That's the part I never really understood. Why must one kneel and close their eyes? If I really wanted to pray, I'd climb to the top of a mountain and just feeeeel a prayer."

That's just what I say, Anne.

I don't think it matters how you do it. I just don't think it matters. I think what matters is that we get ourselves into that spot where we know we've entered into some sort of communion with that Great Spirit and we can just feeeeel a prayer.

My "everyday" prayers are like choosing to be in the same room as the rest of your family, where one of you is reading a book, another is sewing, someone else is doing their homework, and another is playing paper dolls...everyone is just together in their purpose.

When I want to be in earnest, I think it feels more like it must be to work a two-person saw. Knowing who is pulling and who is pushing and hoping hoping hoping it is all going to turn out alright, yet knowing it'll turn out just the way it is supposed to because the soul you're working with is the best there is at two-person saw work...following me on this?

So, I love those beautiful tall 7-day Novena candles that you find with the Hispanic Food at the grocery store. I buy them by the 2's and 3's. I decided a few years back that they fit my prayer purposes to a "T." Right now, I have one with a Russian illuminated version of the Virgin Mary and Baby Jesus with a bright yellow background that is my big prayer right now: getting that home with the goats and the laundry snapping in the breeze and the sunshine invading all corners of my home and a sunset and green rolling pastures...did I mention a sunset and goats?

So, when I started that candle, it only took it about 2 minutes to gutter out...a bad wick maybe? Of course, I took it as a sign that this prayer wasn't going to happen. I started to let that thought in, when I said, "NOPE. I'm the other end of this two-person saw. I'm fixing this candle." So, I poured out the extra wax, cut out some of it, and relit it.

It went out two more times before it started burning right.

Just goes to show you...sometimes cheap candles produce guttering and sputtering, but with a little pouring out and cutting up you can get things going again. I think it also goes to show you that you must be willing to suspend your disbelief and realize that the Spirit on the other end of your prayers isn't actually waiting for your prayers before they fulfill your desires. I believe that our desires are already fulfilled, if only we'll open our eyes to see it. If only we BELIEVE that we are capable, that we are able, that we are deserving, that no matter what it takes we'll go for it, our dreams are there.


then open your eyes and take them.

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