Friday, June 04, 2010

longing

I guess I don't have to live up to anything here...in my little spot on the internet.
I guess that I can say exactly how I feel even if I may feel differently later, or if I think I "shouldn't" be feeling this way.
I guess I can.
If you've read Into the Woode for a time, you might have read somewhere about how much I love to teach. You may have heard that I do not have a teaching job. You may have also heard me lament about it.
I'm lamenting again...*sigh*
It seems so so very unfair that I want to teach SO badly. It isn't even the actual "I've got a job!" part of it, either, which is sort of ironic in a way.
It is in that way that only those of us who KNOW our niche in the world feel when we are not in our niche in the world. You'd do it even if you weren't paid (though it is so nice that you get paid to do it sometimes).
I'm trying to be happy being what they've termed a "paraprofessional"...not a REAL professional, mind you, just a "para"...like a tag-a-long, or an "almost." Well, today I'm crying for myself and trying to suck it up and feel glad that I'm alive and all of that blah blah blah...well, whatever...I'm giving myself some time to feel sad and sorry for myself and then tomorrow I'll be better.
P.S. Conditions that are NOT conducive to taking time to feeling sad and sorry for yourself:
1. when your children are winky-whining about every little thing
2. when your children are jumping off their beds upstairs and sound like they are coming through the ceiling
3. when your cat wants to sit on your laptop
4. when all you've had for dinner is left over boxed macaroni and cheese
5. When your mouse isn't working

on second thought, I think I'll feel sorry for myself about not having time to feel sorry for myself properly...then TOMORROW I'll be fine.

4 comments:

Sea Angels said...

It will come...that perfect teaching job is just around the corner, you just need to be ready to slip straight in there, and then all sorrow and longing will disappear cos you will be in your perfect job..you will just wait and see...
I do hope so xxxx
Love Lynn xxx
Ps I am always popping by, I don't always leave a comment sorry to be so lazy xxx

Naquillity said...

i'm sorry you're feeling sad today. we all have those moments so indulge in the sadness and emerge refreshed and ready for the new day ahead. one day you'll be respected as the teacher you are... hold to that truth and all will fall into place. hope all else is well.

Mrs. Staggs said...

What a time it is, to be a teacher. With all the budget cuts and all, I know it is hard. The young woman that my son is close to, is doing her student teaching right now. She's brand new, and hopeful. She's applied all over the place for a job in the fall. I'll carry hope for you both Katie.

Take care,
Lena

Kerri said...

I know exactly what it is to know your niche in the world and yet very rarely find yourself to be in it! Isn't it awful?! Fingers crossed that better times are ahead.