I guess I don't have to live up to anything here...in my little spot on the internet.
I guess that I can say exactly how I feel even if I may feel differently later, or if I think I "shouldn't" be feeling this way.
I guess I can.
If you've read Into the Woode for a time, you might have read somewhere about how much I love to teach. You may have heard that I do not have a teaching job. You may have also heard me lament about it.
I'm lamenting again...*sigh*
It seems so so very unfair that I want to teach SO badly. It isn't even the actual "I've got a job!" part of it, either, which is sort of ironic in a way.
It is in that way that only those of us who KNOW our niche in the world feel when we are not in our niche in the world. You'd do it even if you weren't paid (though it is so nice that you get paid to do it sometimes).
I'm trying to be happy being what they've termed a "paraprofessional"...not a REAL professional, mind you, just a "para"...like a tag-a-long, or an "almost." Well, today I'm crying for myself and trying to suck it up and feel glad that I'm alive and all of that blah blah blah...well, whatever...I'm giving myself some time to feel sad and sorry for myself and then tomorrow I'll be better.
P.S. Conditions that are NOT conducive to taking time to feeling sad and sorry for yourself:
1. when your children are winky-whining about every little thing
2. when your children are jumping off their beds upstairs and sound like they are coming through the ceiling
3. when your cat wants to sit on your laptop
4. when all you've had for dinner is left over boxed macaroni and cheese
5. When your mouse isn't working
on second thought, I think I'll feel sorry for myself about not having time to feel sorry for myself properly...then TOMORROW I'll be fine.