Monday, October 04, 2010

uuuuuuuhhhhh....


There was no rest today...Kindergarten is taking all my energy. I just knew I'd do this. I never like it when people say, "Uggg, Monday." Cause I figured that means they don't like what they are doing, and I still partly think so, but don't you agree that things really get fudged up on Mondays? Running late, forgetting your lunch, your papers, etc.
So, here I am, anyways, about a month and a half into the Kindergarten process. I worked too hard right off the bat, and now I'm fatigued. I keep thinking, "As soon as I finish that project, things will feel better. As soon as this is done, I'll feel caught up." The problem is, is that I am a perfectionist. I cannot just have a Teacher's Plan book bought off of Amazon, nooooo...none of them is just right. I have to make my own, and then tweak it mid-week so that I have to rewrite all of my lesson plans...what?! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!

I am remembering the days of the summer when the heat was too much, and we would make our way to this spot and swim and swim and swim the hours away...and I was all blissed out, for the day, because life was good when you could swim without clothes on a hot day, in a cold clear creek. But things were unfulfilled during the rest of the day, and the day after that. I can't swim in cold clear water on a hot day every single day of the year and be blissed out.

What I'm trying to say, but my metaphors are all muddled because of my tired headache, is that no matter how tired I get with this job, no matter how much I get tired of my perfectionism, this is still a job I love. Just because you love something doesn't mean it is easy. Whyyyyyyy?! Because, for me, nothing is worth it without the ultimate challenge: do it better than you did it before...whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!

1 comment:

Jessica said...

Aww Katie, don't be too hard on yourself...besides mondays are the start of the week and tomorrow's another day without any mistakes in it yet! Horray! :)