Friday, July 30, 2010

for my friend

from the Druidcraft Tarot

to put in a place where you'll see it everyday...to remind you of
your strength,
your choice,
the leap you'll make,
the confidence you'll make it with,
and the forbearance of your hart,

Here's to dreaming of Fall time,
in the middle of summertime
when you're neck deep in the coolest most delicious creek you've ever swam in.
I LOVE YOU, my friend :)

every day NEW

What I'm reminding myself of today:



. . . when each day is the same as the next, it’s because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lies every day the sun rises. (The Alchemist - Paulo Coehlo)

"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:34

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen.
Keep in the sunlight.
Benjamin Franklin

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway.
~Kent Keith

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

rest

Wanting guidance lately, and I did a Druidcraft tarot spread...the main card that stuck out to me was the Four of Swords...this one indicates a need for rest, relaxation. I've been facing stress and getting myself ill, so a healing retreat is needed. The 4 indicates stillness, quietness. the swords indicate "make it happen"...I think I'll take that advice.

This image is not from my Druidcraft Tarot, but I found it online and thought it was beautiful...little lambs slipping out of flower buds. What could feel more sweet and thoughtful? It is from the "Fantastical Creatures Tarot", and this is a mythical plant called a "Vegetable Lamb". It makes, of course, little lambs!

I am planning on taking some time for myself in the next couple of days, as I'm in a kind of holding pattern that refuses to budge. I have to get away to rest from it...you can only hold yourself still like this for so long before you need to rest.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Seraphine

I just watched a fascinating little foreign film called "Seraphine" tonight.
It is the fictionalized true-story of a poor French woman in the early
1900s who was compelled to paint.
She had very little money and made her own paints out of just about anything, and painted on little pieces of smooth flat wood that she could find - it was SO fascinating.

The more I saw what she had created, the more I understood her.
Her creation touches me. The colors, the movement, even the paintings that seem oddly disturbing...the colors are genius, the textures seem to move...I found myself pausing the movie whenever her art was shown and becoming so fascinated that I was shaking my head and saying "oh wow" at each new piece she created.
The actress who played her, Yolande Moreau, was perfect. I loved her to the end...
I must get my hands on a big full-color book of Seraphine's artwork now.

It reminds me that my love, my excitement, my commitment to being a teacher is almost like something I cannot help but put my whole being into. I saw myself like Seraphine who wanted to paint and had no money but cobbled together whatever she needed just to be able to do what she loved.

THOUGH, there were sad stretches in her life...when she was misunderstood, when she was left behind, when she thought wealth might be the end result, when she became mentally ill...her life and art can still provide insight and inspiration.

Click Here for MORE Seraphine

Friday, July 23, 2010

Self-Portrait Friday and a Swimming Hole






My little family and I found a treasure in the middle of the high desert yesterday.
It was kind of like "the house that jack built"...
Because someone wanted to see our house while we were still in our pjs, I left the house with a brand new dress I just bought on (not sure why I threw that on), and my daughter left the house with her flannel jammies on (not sure why she was wearing those),
and because we needed something to do we went for a drive
and because we went for a drive, we found a GeoCache down a dusty dirt road,
because we had stopped for a GeoCache down a dusty dirt road, we saw a forest service guy who said hello
because he said hello, we talked some more,
because we talked some more, we learned that there was a creek a few miles further down the road
because we were hot and dusty and needed more time to kill, we drove a few miles further
and found a creek that wasn't too cold, with big sandy-bottomed pools to dunk ourselves in,
because we could, there was some nakedness by some of my family members but I went in my dress, and we dunked ourselves over our heads in this beautiful, wonderful private spot that no one seems to know about...
and I ain't tellin' just in case I want nakedness sometime, too

Sunday, July 18, 2010

more Paulo Coelho

"A boy was watching his grandmother write a letter. At one point he asked:
‘Are you writing a story about what we’ve done? Is it a story about me?’
His grandmother stopped writing her letter and said to her grandson:
I am writing about you, actually, but more important than the words is the pencil I’m using. I hope you will be like this pencil when you grow up.’

Intrigued, the boy looked at the pencil. It didn’t seem very special.
‘But it’s just like any other pencil I’ve ever seen!’

‘That depends on how you look at things. It has five qualities which, if you manage to hang on them, will make you a person who is always at peace with the world.’

‘First quality: you are capable of great things, but you must never forget that there is a hand guiding your steps. We call that hand God, and He always guides us according to His will.’
‘Second quality: now and then, I have to stop writing and use a sharpner. That makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards, he’s much sharper. So you, too, must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows, because they will make you a better person.
‘Third quality: the pencil always allows us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes. This means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing; it helps to keep us on the road to justice.’
‘Fourth quality: what really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside. So always pay attention to what is happening inside you.’
‘Finally, the pencil’s fifth quality: it always leaves a mark. in just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will leave a mark, so try to be conscious of that in your every action’"

source: “Like the Flowing River” by Paulo Coelho

Friday, July 16, 2010

Dreaming...again

I'm feeling the edges of my dreams tonight...such old dreams that seem so simple.
I am also imagining the day that I will say to you, "My dreams have come true!!"

Meanwhile, I've been keeping positive and testing my resolve...or rather, having my resolve tested...not sure which.

I've been listening to the little things more often...the very little things...and considering them...I've been listening first and longer and then answering...I've been imagining myself in the little spaces of my dreams. In the sunshine in my new garden. In the sunset at a barbeque on my front porch. In the winter crunching through the snow to feed my chickens. Sipping my coffee, throwing my laptop in the passenger seat and leaving for my 4th grade classroom.

Today I thought about my daughter...when she wants something really bad she cries and cries. She doesn't understand why she can't have it. I understand the depths of her heart, because on the inside I cry and throw a fit too sometimes...I'm really grateful that I am in the arms of a loving parent as well, who knows my heart and wants me to have what I'd really love, but has been waiting for me to quit crying and ask politely. I laugh at the simplicity of it, but honestly, I think it is true!

Friday, July 09, 2010

Self-Portrait Friday

Smack in the middle of a 95 degree day, maybe 2 hours of sleep the night before,
just got woken up from a drive down a very windey, steep, skinny road...and here I am, sitting next to a rushing creek...looking fresh as a daisy.
Amazing.
Can I just write a letter to this woman? I think I shall:

Hey pretty lady, I know you don't often think of yourself as looking like much. I know you often think, "I'm pretty average, if you ask me." And I just want to say back, "I'm not asking you."
You are a beautiful woman. You have thick, full hair that looks gorgeous when you curl it. Your eyes are mostly green, instead of the deep brown they were when you were younger. Your lips are full, your nose is that just-right size that most people envy, and to top it off, your cheeks DO blush naturally. A lot to envy, my dear.
I wish you would look at yourself in the mirror every single day and say, "hey, I look pretty cute." You know it all has to do with your attitude. As soon as you feel better about everything else, you instantly start feeling better about the little things, like weight. Now, don't get down about it since I brought it up. Yes, weight is a problem for you, but listen, you always know what to do about it. You know how to fix it, and most people don't have that determination, know-how or will-power to do it. I know you are saying to yourself right now, "What will-power?" Did you not just choose an Izze instead of a coke when you sat down to write this? Those little choices are will-power. You can do it. You of all people can do it.
And about your teaching dreams: it is going to happen. Do you know why? Because you have the determination to see your dreams out to the end. You have the KNOW-HOW to make them happen. You have the FAITH to believe in them.
Wow. What a wonderful woman you are.
I wish I were more like you, Katie...you beautiful, wonderful woman, you.
With all of my love, me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~```

I've just thought of something: Why do I like to take pictures of just the side of my face, and always looking off in the distance. I think if I'm being honest, it is because I think I look best this way...I like my profile...I love my high cheek bones and the shape of my eyes. I even like my ears and the way my hair wisps about them. I like my big dangly earrings and the shape of my nose....how interesting...I thought I was being all "Hey, look at me pondering the whys and whats of the universe...don't I look all 'thinky' to you?" haha...I make myself laugh :)

The Alchemist - by Paulo Coelho

A few times in my life I've come across a book that so touched me down in my soul that I will never be the same...the Bible, Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet, Anne Morrow Lindbergh's Gift from the Sea, Joseph Campbell's The Power of Myth...
and now I grab these books when I seriously am starving for

inspiration, comfort, guidance, insight...

I've found another one: The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho.

Amazing, beautiful book about finding your Personal Legend, the purpose about why you personally are here. The dreams that you want more than anything else...I had this realization, which is good as I am striding toward mid-life quicker than I thought I would be, that I've completed two of my four. That's pretty good, don't you think?! I'm striving toward the last two AS I WRITE, and I needed the guidance, the wisdom, the INSPIRATION that Paulo gives through this story about a boy, who becomes a man as the story progresses, who is on an adventure to get to his Personal Legend, and all the things in-between that hold him up and teach him a thing or two before he gets there.

So, it is sharesies day:

"When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision."



"...when you really want something, the universe always conspires in your favor."



"It was the pure Language of the World. It required no explanation, just as the universe needs none as it travels through endless time."




"No, " the alchemist answered. "What you still need to know is this: before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the say. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we've learned as we've moved toward that dream. That's the point at which most people give up. It's the point at which, as we say in the language of the desert, one 'dies of thirst just when the palm trees have appeared on the horizon.'
"Every search begins with beginner's luck. And every search ends with the victor's being severely tested."

Saturday, July 03, 2010

Morning Sacrament


glimmer-gliding over a morning-darkened lake
i paddle through mist
and fog smudged sun reflections
first pink as blush
now aging orange
then quicksilver

around a reedy bird-yard
quiet, watchful

and there
a ghost

wrapped in misty, twirling sunbeams
standing sternward
flipping, flicking a silver line
first behind, then before
behind, before
the thin shining strand rests

slippery shadows beneath dance close
uninterested

afterall, he's only here for Morning Sacraments
with the sun
and the gold
and the shadows

and me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You must look at this photo close and close and close.
In the midst of our Divinely Created Morning on the Lake, and after our initial awe,
we saw, in the mist, a fly fisherman...it was one of the most magical experiences to see it. The line looked like silver thread flashing back and forth. When I returned back to our campsite, and after a nap, I set about writing a poem to recreate that tiny part of the morning.

Thursday, July 01, 2010

You can't make this stuff up.

At 4:30 in the morning, on one lake of hundreds in the Cascade Mountains, the chances of seeing something truly wonderful...
...are...
...very...
...very...
...good.
more goodness to come when the light has broken
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hosmer Lake - Cascade Mountains of Oregon
4:30 a.m.
June 29th, 2010