credit: Nancy Fishelson Design
In my future home, I'm gettin' me one of those mantels.
How much I love the whole feeling of this room. I thought I'd want deep cushy carpet in my new house, but those thick dark wood floors are so beautiful, it'd be a hard call.
Every time I talk about the 1901 house lately, I've been picturing my family living in it.
I've decorated it. I've repainted it. I've re-sided it. I've re-floored it.
There is a part of me that is scared every time I talk like that.
It is scary to put your heart out there like that. I am trying to keep it tethered, because there is a reality out there that says it won't happen. There is a reality out there where it is all taken away, and that is truly ironic, because we don't own one pebble from that place.
I only own it on that landscape I've been building in my mind.
Ahhh, hell. I'm a dreamer. It is what I do. The world needs dreamers, right?
There are soul dreams, and those things seem to include people in my life: my husband, my children, my personal legend (see The Alchemist for more information on that) for example.
Then I run around making heart dreams:
where I work, where I live, what my home looks like, for example.
My soul won't be hurt if I don't get that house,
but my heart sure will.