Tuesday, January 18, 2011

a heart dream

credit: Nancy Fishelson Design

In my future home, I'm gettin' me one of those mantels.
How much I love the whole feeling of this room. I thought I'd want deep cushy carpet in my new house, but those thick dark wood floors are so beautiful, it'd be a hard call.

Every time I talk about the 1901 house lately, I've been picturing my family living in it.
I've decorated it. I've repainted it. I've re-sided it. I've re-floored it.

There is a part of me that is scared every time I talk like that.

It is scary to put your heart out there like that. I am trying to keep it tethered, because there is a reality out there that says it won't happen. There is a reality out there where it is all taken away, and that is truly ironic, because we don't own one pebble from that place.
I only own it on that landscape I've been building in my mind.

Ahhh, hell. I'm a dreamer. It is what I do. The world needs dreamers, right?
There are soul dreams, and those things seem to include people in my life: my husband, my children, my personal legend (see The Alchemist for more information on that) for example.
Then I run around making heart dreams:
where I work, where I live, what my home looks like, for example.
My soul won't be hurt if I don't get that house,
but my heart sure will.

3 comments:

paper roads said...

Dream oh dream away.
Because who said life was reality?

Jacqueline said...

You are only responsible for dreaming the outcome...how you will get to it is up to the Universe. Trust, katiebird, just trust.

katiebird said...

Love it ladies...thank you.