Sunday, January 23, 2011

this new day

Today feels like we've been waiting in a train station. Like we've finally been told that our train tickets are going to be paid for, after years of waiting in the line, and now here we are, waiting for that train to show up. That may sound like a waste of time, to be just feeling as though you were waiting. There is much that is learned in the waiting, I've found. Patience. Joy in the quiet. Patience. The opportunity to find the quiet center of myself when what I really want to do is stand in the middle of the yard and scream out my frustration. Patience.

I love this new phase of our lives. I'm loving the quiet packing I've been doing already. I love the down-sizing we've been up to. I love saying goodbye to the knotty pine everywhere in this house. I'll love saying goodbye to the juniper and the pine trees that hug us too closely. I am looking forward to the hard work of getting our HOME. I am looking forward to the open air, the sunrises, the sunsets...did I mention the openness. I am looking forward to the irrigation ditch that runs along one side of the property. I am looking forward to it all, and I am still trusting.

I am so profoundly grateful to be giving this lovely house to someone else to love...perhaps someone who should love it much better than I. Someone who wakes with joy every morning at the cozy closeness of the trees with the obscure sunrises and sunsets streaming in at them.

There is still so much to do, and I'm enjoying the waiting much more now that I know something is actually going to be happening. What I believe is that our dreams are always in the process of coming true. I'll always keep the lessons and truths I learned from Paulo Coehlo's book The Alchemist right smack in the middle of my heart. (the funny thing is that I wrote his name as Pablo Neruda, though I've written his name countless times before...must see what the Goddess is telling me there.) When I realized that I no matter what I was doing, it was never a step that couldn't be counted toward my real desires, that was a big eye opener. Whatever happens in my life will prepare me for my personal legend. When I've reached that legend, a new one emerges. Always in a state of creating and growth. How wonderful that is!! Everything that has ever happened to me, or that I've chosen to do has caused me to be more ready or more grateful for the thing I was truly hoping for.

Remember on my post about Awen? I feel as though I fluidly flow between all three of the gifts of Wisdom, Love and Creativity, and at this point, it is looking more like Wisdom (the owl, the key) is coming into play. There is loads of hand-work to get done before I can really invest in the heart-work of getting our home. I'm up to it.


sarah said...


I feel it for you.

Funny, I glimpsed the word awen in your sidebar today - I've seen it there before of course (I remember being so delighted to discover someone else who knew about awen!) but this morning for some reason it really stood out. And now you mention it in your post. Hmmm.

katiebird said...

joy joy joy, yes :)

I think the Awen got bigger when I made a another post using its label again today :)

~Kim at Golden Pines~ said...

I know the feelings you are having--I felt them myself before we moved to where we are now...Patience was our key and lots of faith!

I hope your week is off to a good start