Sunday, February 06, 2011

another sign

I've been thinking about something for quite sometime now, and it was the cherry on top this morning when I read Jacqueline's post here.

And then I went and watched the trailer for the movie she mentioned, here. and just the trailer bothered me so much, that I had to write a comment for her that said this:

Gosh, Jacqueline, this is something that has really been on my mind lately. I rely on it to talk to my closest family lately...we don't call, and sometimes haven't visited because we already shared something on facebook. It has been disturbing me because I thought for awhile this was drawing us closer, but I get stupidly jealous when I see them "being friends" with other people and isn't that sooo stupid? "Why did they comment on so and so and not me?" In real life, they'd be calling so and so, and I'd never know it, and there is never a reason to be jealous. In real life, I should be calling people I love not because it is easier to do so, but because I love them and miss them. I've thought about it probably since the day I started it...often I'll think, If I did stop facebook it'll be harder to talk to this or that family member. Then I have to stop and realize, if I really love that person and want to talk to them, it is never work, what the heck am I thinking?! You've prompted me to do something that shouldn't be so hard...is it addictive? Will there be withdrawal? Will I get headaches and shake and have insomnia?

It is so disturbing a thought, that I must email some family that I became connected on through it and get their private emails...some how we only ever communicate through facebook and that is disturbing now to think about it. At one point, every contact I ever had was downloaded onto my android phone because I'd put the facebook app on there, and that was DISTURBING...I had acquaintances (that I'd only friended because I'm a pushover) home phone numbers and cell phone numbers and street addresses...oh...my...god.

I really have been thinking about it for awhile, and I realize I'm going to have to tell my family, and I feel like I'm coming out of the closet or something..."Mom, Dad, I'm not going to be on facebook anymore." Shudder..."Why?! Why?!" The fact that I think in such outrageous terms means it isn't good for me. I no longer laugh at my friend who balked and resisted and did not go onto facebook...how I laughed...

I put up a picture and then check out who likes it and who didn't say a thing and then I'm all a mess all day.
If I put up a lame thing about what I've made for dinner and only my mom "likes it" I feel like a failure...why should I be in that situation? I've got to stop. It is getting out of control.

3 comments:

Jacqueline said...

I think somehow Katiebird, Facebooks origins, the culture within which it was born somehow influences its existence (at least for me). I'm sure there are many hundreds of thousands (?millions) who use it in good faith and with a good heart.
After seeing the movie, I just can't do that anymore.
Hope everything sorts itself out for you too with this conundrum.

Edgy Sisters said...

True, deep, profound musing, my friend. I'm taking it under consideration. It's important to be genuine.

Jesska said...

Wow Katie..it's a total relief to hear these words come from you. I've had those same thoughts and infact (hence my blog from last night) there are certain people I adore completely, and then their are the ones that I often wonder why I even try! Your thoughts have brought my own to a rest. Your a wise, wise woman and I love you!!! (((HUGS)))