Monday, April 18, 2011

never felt busier...

We've got plans to get up early to go to work, then jet to the house,
then zoom to our new old farm and clean clean clean until it is bedtime, then
drive drive drive back to our house again,
While I am all for it, cause I am SOOO excited to be living in our little farm house,
I'm pooped, and it is only Monday!
I can't wait to share some before and after photos with you!!
Our little house is awfully dirty and needs plenty of elbow grease right now.

I wish I knew where I got that photo at the top, but I'm living my spare minutes these days inside of books with ideas and colors and decorating that I love, and this picture is one of my inspirations right now.
**note: duh. I got the picture from Nancy Fishelson! I'm so inspired by her decorating.

On another note, dear Sarah has asked me about my relationship with the saints, and I'll be honest, at the risk of upsetting anybody who has an entirely different relationship with them and feels I'm not treating them right.
The truth is, is that I use to be a staunch Baptist Christian.
But that did not suit me in so many ways, that I sluffed it off like a too tight dress and let the many colors of the sky fill my bones like sunset was occurring in my marrow. I became a wanderer and a seeker and found that where my feet wanted to be planted was straight down in the earth like the big roots of a tree; my arms lolling about in the clouds and golden afternoon sun, or the rain and wind and dark grey fluffs in the open spaces between East and West.
I've studied many ways, and hear the truth as a silver thread running through them all.
I envision the goddess/god as a many faceted crystal. You know those roundish ones that you can hang in your window, which truly is not round, but has a hundred-something little flat sides breaking up the light into rainbow confetti all over your walls and floors? Well, I imagine that god is really like this. That if we are small, one of those sides that we might encounter, could well-be the only view of god we've ever known, or been taught: "This is God children." Someone, also tiny, is standing at another space along the sphere and is seeing one side and deciding that God is this and this, but never this or that. Terrible things happen when each of those tiny people thinks that their side is the ONLY side that gives the truth about why we are here and about who is caring for us.
The thread I've found is that each side is really talking about the same being...I do not care what face or gender or number you put on this is the SAME to me.
So, now, after time studying ancient Pagan religions and seeing how the early Catholic church borrowed SO many of the Pagan celebrations and gods and goddesses and made them into "holy days" and saints, I see that thread again: new names, same underlying spirit.
I came at the saints quite backwardly. I have never been Catholic, but I love Catholic ritual and prayers and the need for the physical feel of what you are creating in the spiritual realm. I adore candles and incense and offerings and ritual. It comforts me. It makes me understand that I am actually changing things and doing something while I'm waiting for my prayers to be answered.
I ADORE Saint Brigid - who was FIRST and foremost a Celtic Goddess.
I pray to Mary - who is a perfect avatar to me of the Mother Goddess herself.
Saint Therese, the "little flower", inspires me to gentleness.
lately, Saint Joseph has given me the strength to forge ahead with my dreams of a little farm
Saint Hildegard of Bingen reminds me that the gifts I am given, and the passion with which I faithfully use them, is in turn a gift to those around me.
Saint Theresa gives me the strength to deal with myself in kindness.
I have a soft spot for Saint Francis - I just love those statues of him with a bird in his hand

I know for sure, that a Catholic would tell me that I should not pray to a Saint, but I should ask him or her to pray FOR me. I just don't ascribe to it. I think that Saints, or anyone else for that matter, are reflections of a Great Spirit who just wants us to LOVE each other to the fullest.
Can you imagine what that would look like? If you truly loved every single person and they in turn loved every single person, would you care to whom or what they prayed? No.
I know that my God/Goddess listens to me and hears me and answers me, whether I am calling out to that aspect of him/her that is Buddha, or Jesus, or the Virgin Mary, or the Green Man, or Hestia, or Brigid, or Hecate or Saint really doesn't matter to me...The Great Spirit that I believe in, that makes me feel like a loved child, a confident mother, a heard wife, a LOVING HUMAN BEING
embodies all those aspects in one way or another

and in my estimation
I truly appreciate you asking, Sarah. It is good to get my beliefs down so I can see them. I've written it so many ways, so many times for myself, but to articulate it again and again helps me to understand the things I only just feel the edges of at times.


sarah said...

Oh my, thank you for this beautiful and full answer. How I love it! I especially love the way you describe God(dess). I know the courage it might take to write down your beliefs in public, and so I hope you know how much I appreciate you doing it.

ps, I know exactly what you are saying about the Catholic practice of faith. And I love St Therese also, although I can't figure out why. And Mary of course. And Brigid. And I've never known anyone who has a more similar experience to me of being in relationship with God as St Theresa. Which is quite possibly the most ungrammatical sentence I have ever written, but its late in the evening so I can only hope you know what I was saying! :-)

Blessings to you.

Rosamund said...

Amen. Amen. Amen. So eloquent, so beautiful and so graceful are your words. This is exactly what I have deeply felt for a very long time. Thank you so much for writing it.

Michelle said...

For all the times I've struggled with the right words to describe my feelings about my path.. thank you.. for putting into such beautiful perspective and context.

Tracy said...

BEAUTIFUL sentiments about your spiritual path, Katie! I was raise Catholic, but left the faith in my early 20's and found my spiritual home in Buddhism. But I still have great respect for my Catholic upbringing. As the years have gone by, and environmentalism have become important to me, caring for Mother Earth has awakened the pagan in me, and so my path has come to be a mix of Buddhism and paganism. But mostly my path is LOVE. :o) said...

Thank you for putting such an eloquent and gentle voice to what has been unspoken in my heart. I am humbled by your gift with words.

Garden of Rambles said...

Yes, exactly. You have it exactly right. That is what I believe and came to it as a baptized Presbyterian, then a practicing Catholic - loved the ritual - then realized that I believed in spirit - it is all, it is greater than all, it affects us, we talk to the goodness, goddess, god. Thank you for the beautiful clarification.

Sea Angels said...

I am so glad Sarah asked this of you xx
your answer is blessed again by your beliefs, and your words are so intense and come from so much heart searching and thoughtful time I have only known you in a small (but big ) way for a few years and you have never stopped thinking exploring and looking at this question, and each step of the path you have taken you seem to awaken so many answers, with amazing realizations....that at times you make my head ache with the wonder of your journey....
With love always dear Katie
Lynn xxxxx